Tennismaggedon: John Isner v Milos Raonic at Madison Square Garden

John Isner and Milos Raonic played an amazing match last night in the Round of 16 at the 2015 Miami Open. I put on my Don King hat and decided somebody needs to put together an exhibition entitled “Tennismaggedon: John Isner and Milos Raonic at the Garden.”

It would be best 3 of 5 sets, but the set would go to a tiebreaker at 3-3. There would be pyrotechnics and overblown graphics. For example, whenever there was a confirmed ace, the shot spot video, when the ball landed, would bounce up and leave a crater where it hit the court. At breaks of serves or winning a tiebreaker, the winning player’s avatar (a moose for Raonic, a bulldog for Isner) could be shown on a big screen doing something violent to the other avatar, like Mortal Kombat. Well maybe that’s too much. Perhaps just a victory pose.

There should be audio effects to amplify sounds when the racket strikes the ball or the ball strikes the court. In between changeovers, there should be on-court entertainment, like acrobats or actors in white lab coats conducting experiments demonstrating the force of Raonic’s and Isner’s serves.

The umpire should not announce the score. Instead, a Worldwide Wrestling Federation announcer, after confirmation of the score from the umpire, should announce it.

Perhaps there could be other rule modifications. For example, whenever a serve lands in at 140 mph or above, the server receives a “boom” point. For every five “boom” points, a player could, upon missing a first serve, choose to be given another first serve.

The venue should be Madison Square Garden in New York City, and maybe it should be the annual exhibition at World Tennis Day.

I’m awaiting word from John’s and Milos’s agents!


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