I Non-Metaphorically Want You to Recognize I Don’t Unintentionally Misuse “Literally” and “Random”

img_1399-e1440438276607A 20-something relative visited me recently. It was a struggle to remain calm as I overheard her on the phone misuse random & literally. So I’ve decided to begin saying things like, “Come downstairs, your coffee is non-metaphorically getting cold.” She: “Who was that on the phone?” Me: “Some intentional person.”

I’ve also added “Doesn’t misuse ‘random’ and ‘literally’” as a skill on my LinkedIn profile. Please endorse. Continue reading

That’s not how you use a semicolon. #MuslimRage

muslimrage:

That’s not how you use a semicolon. #MuslimRage